Sunday, February 22, 2015

Atheism is a Religion

The title for this blog post is seemingly bizarre as it is on my personal sense of style and not my religious status. I'm writing this post as a part of the ‘A Style Of My Own’ blogger contest by Women’s Web and Trishla emart. 

What to wear has always been such a million dollar question, especially for women. With us carriers of XX chromosome spending nearly thrice the amount of time as our biological opposites, the process by which we decide what to wear and how we present ourselves is both interesting and fun to observe.

To really tell you the story of how my style evolved, it's worthwhile to start from the very beginning. My first arguments with my parents were always in terms of clothes, they'd want me to wear what's available and I would demand they washed and ironed out something that wasn't ready yet. Not exactly proud of my brat like nature, but soon we both converged on what we liked. However, as time progressed, it became very difficult to decide what to wear because of the following reasons.

  1. The sheer universe of options available to an average female can confuse a sane person. For an over-thinking hyperactive thinker like me, options are a veritable nightmare.
  2. After becoming 18, my mother said I could wear make-up and that opened up another combinatorial explosion.
  3. A significant percentage of my clothes seem to be tailored in such a way that I have to be actively conscious of what I am doing and whether I am willing to put in that factor is definitely a decision maker. To those who say don't buy such clothes, yes I did wear near cylindrical dresses to college for a while until my much chagrined dad brought me out of the habit.
  4. And the single biggest deciding factor : What Will People Say
For example, this is a typical mental conversation I can imagine:

"Ok I have this wedding coming up and it's some time to have fun and dress up. I am going to have to travel that night so a saree is out of the question. I could wear the lehenga I have. Oh but that has a nice back and my hair will block it out completely. But if I show that back cut, will it be like I want to attract attention? Hmmm, maybe. So let the hair be there, but by the time I travel there, my hair will be looking like Medusa's head.  It would be better if I practise some braids that can help rein in my hair as I leave it open. Should I wear lipstick? Hmmm, the lehenga is purple, best leave out the lipstick. Plus some of my friends wouldn't approve. So I'll wear good eye shadow and accessories and am done".

Now that is a headache!

Oh and it's not only for special occasions. Every single day thousands of questions used to haunt me, is this too formal, is this too childish, is this too geeky, is this too tomboyish, is this too girlish what not. Basically where I wanted to be was :

Needless to say this is an exercise that made me feel something is clearly amiss here. First such a delicate balance does not exist and even if I find such a Utopian dress, I cannot wear it everyday - I would need a Utopian wardrobe!

So my highly evolved sense of style is this 

I have no sense of style what so ever!

Just like how the ideas of atheism can well be defined as a religion because it's an organized body of beliefs, I believe my absence of style is the definition of my style. 

So yes, I can be a tomboy on Monday, wear a kurti with jeans on Tuesday, maybe reuse the jeans with a T-shirt and a shrug the next day, do my nails and plait my hair on Thursday, wear mascara and not comb my hair on Friday! The key for me is not to over-think, at least for this task. That doesn't mean I don't take time to get ready, sometimes I feel like going the whole nine yards starting from a face pack to even painting my toe-nails. It means being true to what I feel like at that moment. I think that makes me relaxed and not worried about what others think too much. It's about what I feel like wearing, what I'm comfortable in, what I feel safe in. Though I do not care what other sane people think, I very much care if there are random strangers staring at me when I'm alone in a definitely non-paternal way. But excepting such situations, I want to explore all forms of dresses and I want to celebrate the choices we have as women to be colourful and vibrant and be so full of life!